Howdy dolls,
What a lovely summer it has been so far, are you enjoying it yet? I must say that I am immensely.
So the other night as I sat at my kitchen window, writing and listening to the gurgling of the outdoor pool, I realized how much has happened in my life in the past year. It may sometimes seem like the hell that we are experiencing is so unfortunate and unfair; but I have found some blessings disguised as blisters. Things like standing up for myself, designing my own future and knowing my strengths as they are tested on a daily basis are some of the gifts I received in the last year of my life and I am ever so grateful.
And to think I used to be so afraid of being outside my comfort zone…you know being a good wife and mother and helping Mr Macho achieve his dream while I waited for my turn.So now that I have tossed myself out of that relationship and into the deep waters of uncertainty, I have learned to find comfort in the unknown. And come to have a great appreciation for these other lessons I have gleaned in the last year.
Duality
Have you ever wondered if you are on the right track? If your decisions are smart, guided or just life altering mistakes? Have you ever felt a certain uncertainess about the major decisions in your life? When you meditate, do you ask your inner guide questions like, what do I do next? Is this what I’m supposed to be doing? Am I right in this decision? If so, then take comfort in knowing you are not alone. Most of the greatest achievers were not clear on their missions until they manifested.
On the other hand do you feel absolutely sure that you are on your way to something amazing and out of the scope of your current reality? Are you sure that no matter what decision you do make, it all becomes a part of the tapestry of your amazing future and cannot go wrong?
Transformational Author and Speaker Lisa Nichols calls it a state of duality, and as a gemini I must say I am quite partial to that term. She describes the feeling as being absolutely brilliant and knowing nothing at the same time. I feel her on that one, because truth be told, most of the times I have absolutely no clue, as my friend Gee likes to say, but I’m convinced I’m doing the right thing at the same time.
So if you feel like, man, I just don’t know if all this is right, but I’m convinced it will all add up, then yes you are on the right track. Keep going.
Loneliness
Yeah,ok this one might seem like a stretch but hear me out even if you find yourself rolling your eyes, okay?
I used to be desperately afraid of being alone, feeling lonely. I came from a large family and used to feel as if I would whither and die if I was ever alone for long periods. But here’s the real deal, that is an irrational and unfounded fear–as if they all aren’t. However that was my secret fear, which kept me coupled since I was old enough to have a serious crush. Before this year, I had never spent a significant amount of time solo. And if I did spend even a few days or weeks alone, I would get seriously depressed and start a pity party then latch on to the first available and passably good looking guy. Yes, I know, it’s sad. But that’s how it was, and even with friendships. This last year however, I chose solitude most of the time. I chose not to date, go out as much(well the state of my finances chose this one)and I chose not to listen to the anti-introverts who thought there was something wrong if you didn’t seek validation from social events.
So since I have come out as an introvert that just passes for an extrovert, I feel more comfortable blowing people off and enjoying my own company. In that company I have learned a great deal about my personality and character, some things good, some ehhhm not so much. But it has all contributed to my growth.
I also avoided a few losers posing as good men and liars trying to mindfuck me into thinking I was psyho for having a brain. So, all in all I won on all accounts just by embracing aloneness.
Another really great feature of going it alone is you don’t hanker for support from others as you build your dream. Because if you’ve ever listened to the journeys of the 5 percenters, they had to fly solo for majority of the building period. So, get comfy in your own company, cause honey, it might be a while before you’re surrounded by adoring fans and such.
Abnormalcy
Have you ever been called weird? Unusual? Strange or eccentric per chance? Well here’s where you get to embrace all your idiosyncrasies. Like the smell of floor polish, so you get down and sniff the floor? Do you, ain’t nothing wrong with being a little abnormal. Sure people will point and stare at times but if you are the same as every egg shell Jane then you cannot make waves. Think I’m jesting, just think Howard Stern, need I say more?
Remember I said I learned some things about myself while basking in my own company? Well, that was one of the goodies. I go against the grain. I always have and it was only when I tried to fit in(think black Stepford wife) that I noticed how uncomfortable it all made me. Homeschooling before it was a thing-yeah I did that. Natural hair empress embracing my blackness-yep that too. Cooking from scratch and planting a garden so my family could eat well- right up my alley and don’t get me started on all my entrepreneurial endeavours. You see all these things seem normal now, but I can remember how much flack I got for a number of years about these decisions. Now, when I see people jumping on the trains I have ridden for years I smile as I welcome them and then wonder what their next destination will be..IJS.
So all in all it’s okay to be and do you. Whether you are too school for cool or just into shit that’d make our hairs curl, go on then with your weird self. Who’s to tell you it’s wrong? And it just might be your launching pad to greatness.
Have you recently been through a rough patch? How did you deal? Let’s start a conversation, join me on Twitter @stayathomewow or on Facebook.
Remember there are many lessons to be learned in the valleys of life if we know just where to look.
With love and kisses,
N
Frumpy 2 Foxy 101 